Untitled (Between You and Me)

There's poetry in...

the space between you and me...

When i'm far away and you draw me close

can you feel the spark in the midst of us?

And you place your lips beside my ear

and you whisper words for only me to hear

there is poetry... in the space between

There's poetry in...

the space between you and me...

When you call me just to hear my voice

there is beauty in the depth of your love

and you share yourself

and give me a piece

there is music in our intimacy

there is poetry...

in the space between you and me.

I write alot of 'sad' songs. Wait. I don't like that. I don't think they're sad. I write alot of songs when i'm sad. That's better. All of my songs are real, real feelings, real people it's all real. See, because I write alot of my songs when I'm sad you guys- the listeners- only see/hear one part of a story. Mainly the end. Or the argument. Or the disappointment.

A couple months ago I was lying in bed watching a tv show. Two people were on a first date: empty restaraunt, flowing conversation. They start talking about dancing, the guy brings out his iPod and starts playing some slow waltzy-type music. He stands up, offers his hand, pulls her in and they dance. Close. 

It sounds cheesy, but really it wasn't. So i'm watching them dance and I think about how nice it is to be that close to someone. Not just anyone but Someone. 

The day before this I had been thinking it's a shame that all my songs about Someone are so sad because alot of our relationship was really something special. So yeah, these two people are dancing and I start thinking about Someone and how close we were, and how much we wanted to be close to each other and how beautiful wanting to be close to somebody is. 

But how do you describe that? How do you sing that? I didn't want to say being close to you is beautiful because, well that's cheese galore. Same goes with 'magic'... I had this image of us standing together, no space between us, and I was trying to describe it, how much I loved that, and then I thought of poetry. "There's poetry in the space between you and me". I'm saying I love being close to you. It's beautiful to me.

"When I'm far away, and you draw me close, can you feel the spark, in the midst of us"

"And you place your lips beside my ear, and you whisper words for only me to hear..."

I don't know what to say about this song. I'm staring at my screen trying to find the words. I can't. I guess it's all there in the lyrics. I don't know what else I can say.

"There is music in our intimacy"

I'm glad I finally got to write a love song. Now you get to see another part of the story...

Rella x

Ego

I wanted to know you,

but you wouldn't let me in.

I told myself for preservation

Stop, stop trying.

You're no good for my ego.

You're no good for my ego.

But you intrigue me,

I want to be close to you

Just to see what our closeness would do

But it seems like you have no desire to

I wont force myself on you

I can't force myself on you

You're no good for my ego

You're no good for my ego

You're no good for my ego

I said, you're no good for my ego.

I'm a songwriter, but I don't see myself as one. See, I write for myself. I've said it over and over but I really mean it. I'm selfish when it comes to my music. I don't think of anybody else, "will people like it?", none of that comes to mind. I write because I have something on my mind and I need a way of expressing it.

That said, it's not always easy. You don't always get it right. Imagine an artist painting a portrait. They're trying to get the image before them down on the canvas as accurately as possible, but it's hard. Sometimes the eyes don't quite match, the nose is too broad, the colouring is off. It's the same with music. Sometimes I can't accurately portray what i'm feeling, or I don't know what i'm feeling accurately enough to portray it. And it's frustrating as heck. But every now and again you get a picasso moment. This was one of those times.

I'm in love with this song guys. It is such a perfect portrayal of everything I was feeling. I wasn't even in a writing mood when this came about. It was a few days ago, I was tidying up my room and randomly thought about the person this song is about. I wrote down the first few lines, frustrated with our 'relationship' and what it was doing to me. I thought about why I wanted to know them better, why anybody wants to know anybody better. It all came out on the page. And I thought that would be it. Usually when I write the lyrics first for a song; I can't get the guitar to fit. Normally it has to happen at the same time. But I pick up Dave, the music comes, the melody writes itself, and in a matter of minutes I have before me a perfect portrait. A melodic picture of my thoughts and my emotions.

It's times like these that makes me love being a musician.
With all the love in the world my dears,

Rella x

About Me: Mutant Food

You aint fooling nobody brownie!

I have certain erm... idiosyncrasies when it comes to food that are erm... very idiosyncratic? For those of you who don't know; I love cereal. As in LOVE. As in two years ago I asked for cereal as a birthday present and each member of my band brought me a box or two. It was awesome. I lined the boxes along my wall and was in cereal heaven. It's that serious.

Yesterday I was tucking into my second bowl of the day: Cookie Crisp. Everything was going swimmingly (haha)(see that's funny because the cereal swim in the milk)(so it was a pun)(get it hahaha)(just kidding)(about explaining the joke not about it not being a joke)(because it was)(I'll stop now) but then all of a sudden something caught my eye. There amongst all the cookies with dark chips was an anomaly, a cookie with light brown chips. It was so weird. I tensed up and I could feel my idiosyncratic ways start to kick in. I wanted to ignore it. I tried to tell myself "Rella, there is nothing wrong with the brownie, it's just cereal", I tried to be rational but what I really thought was "MUTANTTTTTTT!!!" 

*sigh* I couldn't bring myself to eat it. Once my brain has spotted a food abnormality it completely rejects it and sees it as a hazard to my health. 

This one time, I was in my room at uni and I had just eaten some yogurt, pasta and I was in the process of eating a banana. All of a sudden I realised they were all the same colour and then I started to feel nauseous. No lie. I couldn't finish the banana. I think that's the weirdest food quirk that has ever come up. Eating three same coloured foods in a row made me nauseous. It hasn't happened since but at the same time I haven't tried that combo again. I have a feeling though that this new quirk is only for specific colours of food because I can't see myself being ill after eating chocolate, chicken and then toast or apples, stew and some other red food. Maybe it was too much cream coloured food at one time. I dunno *shrugs shoulders*. 

But yeah, I have some serious quirks when it comes food and I thought i'd share lol.

Hope this post finds you well dearies,

Rella x

The Meaning of Without the 'Ay'

I originally started this blog so that people who like my music can get to know me a bit better.
It was important to me that people who like my music get to know me better because in knowing me better, I feel that said people would understand my music a bit more.
See, my music is me. It is a direct representation of me and my thoughts... I also wanted to share some of the music that I listen to or love... I wanted to do a lot of things. However I didn't write as much as I wanted to or could because things would get in the way, or I would get in the way.
For example: one day I was sitting in a lecture and the prof was talking about cell cultures and how when you take a cell from the body and grow it in culture it cannot replicate indefinitely because it is impossible to reproduce its ideal conditions as we don't know what they are. Obviously if there was a mutation that allowed for adaptation things would be different. But yeah, I was sitting in that lecture, feeling like a cell taken from its natural environment, asked to thrive in a foreign, clinical land. I started to think I should write a post about this, but then I thought to myself nobody wants to read about me feeling like a cell.

*sigh* Ish like that happens all the time. But then if i'm always thinking nobody wants to know my thoughts and so I don't post my thoughts, how the heck are you supposed to understand me?? I'm that person. The type of person that sympathises with cells and writes about helium balloons. I can't just post the more normal thoughts because those aren't all I have. And well, to me, my thoughts on helium balloons are normal. Sure it was more of a joke post but that's how the scene played out in my head...

So from now on i'm blogging like nobody's reading the same way I write (songs) like nobody's listening.

With love like you can''t imagine,
Rella x

Childhood Memories: Helium Balloons

I'm not even going to mention the fact that I have been absent for a shameful amount of time. And yes I realise that mentioning that I'm not going to mention something is the exact same thing as mentioning something but that's not important. 
But hey, I've seen the error of my ways and here I am!

On to todays post.
I have become alarmed and saddened by the increasing number of people that I meet that haven't 'done' helium.
It is every child's rite of passage and I have very vivid memories of it.

Picture this:
Little Rella was forced to be at a party she didn't want to go to, surrounded by a bunch of 'cousins'; 'aunts' or 'uncles' of no real relation. Seated on one of the chairs that lined the wall she took in her surroundings and like a hawk zeroing in on it's prey she spotted it. There. Floating, peacefully. Blissfully unaware of the capture and utter destruction that awaited it; a helium balloon.

Now if you cannot relate to this I don't know what to tell you, or how to sympathise with the childhood that was stolen from you... But perhaps it's not too late. For you. 

Little Rella was reluctant to announce her interest in the balloon. See competition was everywhere and a helium balloon with the amount of height that this one had was a gem, a prized commodity, so she waited. Monitored. Sure she moved around, worked the room as any ten year old would do but no matter where she was or who she was talking to she knew where the balloon was. 

At this point you should be realising how serious this is and rushing out to get a helium balloon to reclaim your obviously unfulfilled infant years (hehe) or at least on the phone to your parents demanding to know why it went down like that "Mum, was I allergic? Is that what it was??"

It was time to leave. To Little Rella this meant the cards that had been held so close to her chest all evening were about to get played. Sure she was tired but she couldn't afford to let her guard down. Suddenly her spine stiffened and the hairs at the back of her neck stood up. Somebody had noticed it. The tell tale signs were written all over his face, the widening eyes and beaming smile. Amateur. She swooped in, grabbed the balloon string and before he knew it the balloon had been tied around Little Rella's wrist declaring ownership. His smile vanished. His eyes traced the balloon string from the balloon all the way down to Little Rella's wrist and then made their way to her face, watering and weepy. She tried not to be too smug about her victory, he was young afterall, he didn't know the rules of ballooning. She gave him a small smile, to sympathise or gloat she didnt know, turned, and left the party; head held high with the balloon dancing behind her.

The ride home was a long one. When she finally arrived she ran up to her room, shed her jacket and shoes and untied the balloon string. It all came down to this. The constant vigilance and competition was all for this. With a pair of scissors she squeezed the neck of the balloon tight and cut off the end. She placed the neck to her mouth, inhaled deeply and with an augmented voice declared: "This my dears, this sounds like victory hehehehehe"

LOL! I hope this put a smile on your face.
With all the love in the world,
Rella x

Another reason why I love Corinne Bailey Rae

Hey Guys!

I've been meaning to write this for a long time but something always came up. I was being lazy, I didn't have time or it wasn't sunny enough. But today I have no excuses. Enough time has passed since wanting to share this vid for me to feel guilty for not sharing and the sun is shining :D

I once gave you a few reasons why I love Corinne Bailey Rae and here's another.

Now i'm generally a very happy person. Like you know those people who seem like they have rainbows for breakfast? Yep, that's me. Rainbows. Looking at my collection of music you wouldn't know it. I normally listen to sad, sombre and sedate music. The way I see it, it's a balance, it calms me down. But every once in a while i'll hear something like this and break into dance. I LOVE this song. I love what CB Rae does to it, it's just one of those one's that makes me happy.

Seriously whenever I hear this outside I have to restrain myself and remind myself that I have nothing choreographed. "Rella, the passers by don't know the moves". Otherwise i'd have a serious t-mobile moment. *sigh* One day...

So since i'm all about spreading the love I thought i'd share it and hope it makes you happy too.

With rainbow fuelled love,
Rella x

We'll be together again soon...

You know, I've missed you guys.

Whoever you guys are. Mostly O and the odd S or K.. I don't know who reads this here blog but i've missed you, writing, feeling connected to my 'Rella J-ness'. 

I've been really stressed recently, uni has sort've taken over my life and when I get stressed I can't write hence my absence. 

I'm not fully back yet, I'm still stressed, well my version of stressed because I don't stress easily- so in reality when I say stressed it's only like 5% of what a normal stressed out person feels. I digress. I just wanted to come here and say something...

Some songs stick with you. I'm not talking about a song that you love, i'm talking about... I dunno. I've always been fascinated with my relationships with songs and kind of obsessed with remembering why I know them. Which brings me back to why I'm here. One day I was in France, we were on holiday a tonne of years back, and I don't remember much about that holiday but I do remember standing in my hotel room and turning on the tv. I was flicking through, seeing what French tv had to offer and then this music video came on, I just stopped and watched it from start to finish. But it was more than just watched, I...paid attention?

I don't know... it takes alot for me to pay attention to something, or rather- for something to hold my attention- especially when it's not my usual cup of tea. Wait. I don't drink tea. Anyways every now and again i'll sing the chorus of this song and because it is directly linked to a memory that I have of myself this song means more to me than it should.

Or maybe none of that even happened. Maybe I made it up in my head and I really heard it on the radio in Hackney. Either way I miss you.

With love,

Rella x x

I'm a sucker for a good falsetto...

I'm in a sharing mood today so I'm going to show some musical love and post this vid.
I was recording a video-y acoustic session type thing when the girl/ lady type person shooting it got to talking about music with me, and she made me listen to this song.

At first I was surprised by the voice that came out of this dude, esp cos he reminded me of this guy that shoots these yt spoof videos that my little sis used to play to me all the time- they were hiLARIOUS. Anyways, It played, I was loving the groove, it got me rocking and stuff. He had a nice tone, smooth, cool and all that good stuff. I wasn't even really listening to what he was singing about- it's a political song- esp cos "You say that you care, I was unaware" is such a good basis for a achy breaky heart type song lol. But anyway, I was enjoying it and then he attacks me.

Some call it an Achilles heel or even kryptonite, I call it falsetto. Oh Em Gee. Freaking heck, Like for real??? Is he singing that?? I MELT. I don't know what it is about a male singer falsettoing. Yes I know thats not a word but seriously, shivers. I. Get. Shivers. All of a sudden the song became so much more than it was and I'm left wanting to have his musical babies hehe.

So yeah- hope you enjoy it
and more importantly, I hope this here post finds you well.
Rella x

Farewell Chuck, I hardly knew you...

*sigh*
I can't believe Chuck is over, I don't understand it, it was such a great show.

I have this thing where every now and again I get bored, find a new show that seems good and try it out. I did this with Chuck, three seasons in less than a week. Yep, that's alot of Chuck. So then I get half way through season 4, at this point i'm hooked, I mean I was hooked after the first episode else I wouldn't have continued, then I find out that season 5 is going to be the last season and i'm heartbroken.
Chuck was one of the good ones, the great ones. Seriously there was nothing else like it how can they cancel it? ?

Anyway I went on a Chuck break, I couldn't watch it knowing there wouldn't be anymore, and then finally yesterday I took the leap. I just finished the series finale.
*sigh*

But yeah, the reason for this post. This song. *sigh* another thing Chuck did, besides fill me with joy, was introduce me to some great music. This is what was playing in the final scene. Perfect choice. Great song, no doubt it'll be on repeat for the next week. Enjoy.

x

Bon Iver: Justin Vernon the Conqueror!

I don't even know how to start this, or how to describe how I feel about today's video. Bonnie Raitt- I can't make you love me is one of my favourite songs. The first time I heard it I almost teared up. It's one of those songs, the lyrics, the way she sings it, it all comes together to produce something that grips onto your heart and refuses to let go.

Many have tried to do covers of this song and i've hated ALL of them. None of them captured that emotion present in the original- to me at least. And then a few weeks ago through a youtube suggestion I saw that Adele did a cover, watched it, and even then I was like *shrugs shoulder*. But then last night I saw the video posted today. My dear dear Justin Vernon of the beloved Bon Iver came and indeed conquered. 

It was all so unexpected. Poor unassuming me clicked play, I saw him there at the piano... I was sceptical. I mean I love him but this is I Can't Make You Love Me that we're talking about here. Then he started singing and I was shocked, for some reason I wasn't expecting the falsetto even though it's one of his trademarks. And then I was annoyed at his timing and then I fell. Hard. 

My face became distorted- when I hear something I love, like really love, I get this look on my face- It's like a mix between confusion and pain, like i've just smelt something bad- and I just soaked it all in. His tone, his sincerity, his interpretation. It was just as believable as Raitt's and just as moving. 

It's one of those songs that just make you stop. So I thought i'd be the good Samaritan that I am and share this gem with you. 

Oh and for the record I went back and re-listened to Adele's cover. I take the *shrug shoulder* back. I like it, it's just one of those songs that I don't fall for instantly but more upon second hearing... My love would've probably come faster if she slowed down a bit. I felt like it was a bit rushed. But yeah, Justin Vernon just cemented his place in my heart today. 

x 

Childhood flashbacks

I don't remember much of my childhood. In fact come to think of it, I don't remember much of anything. Seriously, I can't remember yesterday but I remember yesterday happened. Does that make sense? 

The way my memory works has always freaked me out a bit. I don't remember in film, more like in thought... anyway, back in my dramatic years (did they ever end?) I used to worry about why I couldn't remember anything. But I do remember because I have a memory, I just can't see the memories that I must have because of my, you know- memory. And that used to worry- my not being able to see the memories that I must have. Still with me? No? *brain ache*?

One thing I do remember is music. It's seems as though recently I've been hearing more and more songs that remind me of my childhood, a childhood I don't remember but you get the picture lol. 

I love the feeling of familiarity and nostalgia and time that I get whenever I hear one of these. I remember (or do I? (lol)) for years Fleetwood Mac- Dreams played in my head when I was a kid and I had no clue why, or where I'd heard it from. And then when I got older, years later I stumbled across FM at work and then heard Dreams and this wave a familiarity washed over me and I was like 'wasn't this the song that used to play in my head all the time?!'

And then today this image of a man walking down the street barging people popped into my head, I was like 'what video is that from? I used to love that song', Googled it and got reunited with this song that, for whatever reason, really takes me back to being in the 90's.

One day I'm going to rein-act this video with the song playing on my iPod. Leather jacket and all. But obv's not for too long because it's kinda mean. 

It's kinda funny because some days it feels like I get barged all the time and I feel like channelling some verve! I go on a barging SPREE- in my head of course. I'm passive remember *sigh*

This song also takes me back to the first time I watched Cruel Intentions and consequently fell in love with Ryan Phillipe. Time flies.

Lastly I felt that upon further listening this next vid deserved more than a mere link out. I really love this song, it took a while but we got there in the end :) 

In the past fortnight there have been about four posts that I wrote in my head but was too lazy to type up ( ._.)

C'est terrible, oui je sais, mais je veux changer!

Until next time x

Lianne La Havas and aural alleys :)

Oh wow.

I never saw it coming. I get music recommendation ALL the time. Like seriously, methinks it comes with the territory, but 9 times out of 10 I'm completely unimpressed. See i'm both easy and hard to please and as you can see from this here blog my music taste is completely random, but today, Today, the improbable occurred.
S posted on my facebook wall and did two things.

1: Reminded me that people actually think about 'Rella J'. This may sound stupid but it's strange for me to think that outside of performance people listen to me. As in will watch one of my videos, or read this here blog or listen to somebody else and be reminded of me. I just never really thought of it... In my head it's kinda like the whole 'If a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound'. Except there is no tree. I'm the tree. If I'm not performing do I make a sound? In my head I don't. But in you know, the real world, maybe I do. The thought that I do is v. humbling. But then the thought of the type of thoughts that I have is v. worrying. lol. Seriously? "I'm the tree?" Security!!

2: Introduced me to the wonderful, talented, future staple on all playlists; Lianne La Havas. He posted this on my wall and I was intrigued but it was really the vid below that cemented my love. I told you I fall fast.
I love her tone, gosh it's so smooth. Once again, right up my aural alley.

I guess that's all folks
Hope you've enjoyed this here blog post.
Lol no 'this here blog' won't become a signature, I don't even know where it came from o_O
oh and remember dearies you are the tree!
hehe
Rella x

So i'm typing this while waiting for the season finale of Rookie Blue to load (don't judge me).
It's 2012!! And has been for 2 days, I'm way excited, like buzzing!
I don't have much to say really but I wanted to say something so here we are...

This year I really am going to try to be a better blogger type person and post at least once a fortnight. At first I told myself once a week and then I was like Rella be realistic so a fortnight it is. I am going to try and commit to that.

Hmm what else? O told me she hated Dumb I Sound, fair dues, each to their own and what not, I really enjoy hearing what other people think about music I like.

Recently this has been STUCK in my head. Like superglue, gum and a host of other sticky things.

I don't even know where I know it from and that really bothers me.  I have no clue why I I know about 90% of the music I listen to o_O. I'm sure I'm not the only one though...

Oh so last week I performed at Vocal and Verses, the end of year charity special. It was AWESOME. I had such a good time there, like for real I haven't enjoyed performing at an event as much as I did last Thursday. The audience was amazing, the other other artists performing were amazing and I dunno. It just all came together to make an amazing night. My battery was dead so I couldn't record anything but hopefully I'll be able to get my hands on some footage soon, when i'll do you'll be the first to know. Well probably the second, O will see it first hehe.

Ok, RB is loaded enough for me to watch at least the next ten minutes so i'll leave it at that.

Talk to you soon
Or at least within a fortnight :)
Rella x